Sunday, December 22, 2002
Monday, December 16, 2002
Friday, December 13, 2002
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
- astounding date
- a grievous and vexing spectacle
- none other than strollette linda raine
- the blue cow
- indispensable to the existence of the elect
- really unchristian
Interestingly, The Blue Cow appears to be a bar in Singapore and is a suitably oblique reference, so I humbly submit the following as a candidate for the Reprobates logo:
Thursday, December 05, 2002
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
Of course, given the topics under consideration here, the name of this book's author is ... strangely appopriate ...
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
However, Radio Netherlands has a great article about it, and Akin Fernandez's Irdial-Discs has even, if you have $250 to spare and really want to hear this stuff first-hand (or a simulacrum thereof), issued a 4-CD set called "The Conet Project" that also contains an 80-page booklet.
Of course, if you'd rather hear it live (and save yourself $250 and the shelf space occupied by 4 CDs and the accompanying booklet), you could always tune in and hear one of the more durable examples - the Lincolnshire Poacher, presented here courtesy of one Simon Mason. More stuff here.
Saturday, November 30, 2002
Friday, November 29, 2002
Wednesday, November 27, 2002
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Friday, November 22, 2002
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Monday, November 11, 2002
Saturday, November 09, 2002
Thursday, November 07, 2002
Shaun, your post is absolute genius. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your analysis and I agree with your conclusions. Thank you for blessing us with such wonderful work.
Monday, November 04, 2002
The playmates of the 50's and early 60's had a certain something that seems to be missing from the latter-day women - curves. Compare, for example, miss December 1954 with miss June 1993, or miss July 1963 with miss January 1992. The earlier examples make more of a virtue of the gifts most naturally bestowed upon women, whereas our more recent tastes appear to lean more towards the lean. As we move through the years, we seem to more favour women who actively lessen some of the features of womanhood. There is a clear transition from the curvaceous to the athletic, from the oft-sculpted to the self-sculptured. Waists, hips and thighs have certainly come in for a bit of a bashing. Miss September 1956 shows an ample amount of flesh, but she is far from obese or even overweight. She is, however, a lifetime in the gym and under the knife away from miss September 2000. Waists, as such, appear to decline through the 60's (miss June 1967) and disappear in the 70's (miss September 1975) to be replaced by solid walls of gym-toned muscle (miss January 1997). Only extreme corsetry appears to hint at a waist (miss August 1996). Hips have moved from child-bearing (miss June 1956) to child-like (miss October 1995).
A bit of a boob
In terms of breast size, there is a huge variation within any given year (cf miss May 1956 vs miss November 1956, miss February 1996 vs miss March 1996), but overall the trend is towards the petite. For example compare miss December 1959 and miss April 2002 at the smaller end, miss February 1959 and miss May 2002 in the middle and miss October 1959 with miss March 2002 at the high-end of high-beams. The shape of breasts has also changed, from the pointed torpedoes and A-bombs of the 50's and early 60's (miss October 1957, miss March 1963) along with more matronly examples around the same time (miss October 1956, miss October 1964) through to the manufactured spheroids of today (miss October 2000, miss November 2000).
In between times there have been marked shifts, the mid-60's showing a tendency towards the small with only one or two truly buxom wenches a year, and these tended to be extreme (miss February 1966, miss March 1967, miss March 1968, miss December 1968, miss March 1969) as if only to throw the smaller breasts into sharp relief. Interestingly these show up mainly in the Spring. The 60's also brought us our first afro-carribean playmate, introducing another dimension (miss October 1969).
The first breast implants were made available in 1962, and by the 1970's were in full swing (miss November 1970, miss October 1972) although some larger, seemingly natural specimens were displayed if only for their curiosity value, the models having not much else of merit (miss May 1974, miss November 1975). Mostly the fashions of the 60's followed through, however.
The 1980's kicked off with some better examples of augmentation (miss January 1980) which continued to "improve" across the decade - indeed the 1980's were indeed a time of marked contrast, between the natural norm (miss July 1983, miss September 1986) and manufactured monsters (miss February 1984, miss November 1984).
The 1990's kicked off with another advert for the plastics industry (miss January 1990), but mainly continued the trends of the 1980's (miss September 1993 vs miss May 1992), perhaps widening the gap between the extremes (miss July 1997 vs miss November 1993). It's really to early to comment on the new millenium, but things don't look much like changing (miss January 2002 vs miss October 2000). In fact it's difficult to draw the line between woman and doll in some cases, some models look positively manufactured (miss April 2001, miss August 2001, miss May 2002).
A bit of fluff
Hairstyles have gone through some changes over the years, too. Pubic hair wasn't shown until 1972 (miss October 1972) so it's difficult to comment before then, but it seems to have been alive and well (miss August 1976, miss September 1983) right up until the early 90's when it started somewhat of a decline (miss September 1990) untill we reach the ridiculous Hitler moustaches of today (miss October 1999). Much of this may be down to the size of swimwear changing, but we were distracted from pubic region by outrageous hair in other regions during the late 80's (miss June 1986) and early 90's (miss August 1991).
Whilst there have been nods to youthfulness throughout (miss January 1963, miss January 1964), the maturity of 'look' the models have had has in general moved from womanly (miss January 1956, miss June 1959) through girlish (miss May 1972, miss February 1981), to a look I'll describe only as 'barely legal' (miss August 1994, miss April 2002, miss July 2002). This, of all the trends, is most disturbing.
Catching some rays
As mentioned before, swimwear has been getting considerably smaller since the 50's and although it's effects are sometimes still visible (miss January 1997), the norm nowadays is for an even tan. Not so in the 50's (miss January 1958), in fact tans were few and far between, but as we can see swimwear is shrinking by the mid-60's (miss November 1964, miss March 1966), has a bit of a resurgence in the 70's (miss August 1970) until it's practically nonexistent by the 80's (miss September 1982).
For my money, playmates have evolved into highly commoditised 'product' by the slow eradication of what fashion has declared imperfection. Far from producing perfection, however, what we have is a bland indisginguishable mass - the whole has been sacrificed for a combination of features. I'd much rather sleep with the women of the 50's and 60's, but my modern eye has been trained by advertising (and perhaps my hypothalamus) to only see flaws when these women are presented for my auto-erotic entertainment. When true sexual fantasy kicks in, however, the barbie-dolls of today pale in comparison to real women. Long live miss Marks'n'Sparks - long live woman!
Friday, November 01, 2002
Thursday, October 31, 2002
Monday, October 28, 2002
Monday, October 14, 2002
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
Monday, October 07, 2002
Friday, October 04, 2002
Thursday, October 03, 2002
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Anyway, I am declaring the who-can-build-the-best-Flash/Shockwave-enabled doodad wars over. JJ1 Club won with some jaw-dropping Shockwave entries, of which this is a prime example.
Monday, September 23, 2002
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
Monday, September 16, 2002
Thursday, September 12, 2002
Now, it seems, there might be a film version. It'll have to be a Vivid Video release. The mind boggles - this is a book that forever changed the way I look at women at public gatherings.
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Saturday, September 07, 2002
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
"I was writing a paper on the PC ... and it was like blee-bleep blee-blee-blee-bleep, and then ... like ... half of my paper was gone ..... (long pause) ... and I was like (longer pause) .... hunh? ... it devoured (barely suppressed giggle) my paper ... it was (a) really good paper .. and then I had to write it again ... and I had to do it fast so it wasn't as good .. it's kind of (really long pause) ... a bummer. I'm Ellen Feiss and I'm a student"
Friday, August 30, 2002
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Thursday, August 22, 2002
Wednesday, August 21, 2002
Monday, August 19, 2002
Friday, August 16, 2002
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
Monday, August 12, 2002
A Girls Prayer:
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,One who's willy is thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,When he promises to call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows just what to say, when I ask "How big's my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin, In the hall, the loo, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And never attempt to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed, I look at the creep you sent me instead.
A Boy's Prayer:
I pray for a nympho
with huge boobs
who owns a beer store......
In other news, where do old domain names go to die? Why, Deleted Domains, of course. Act quickly, and you could be the proud new owner of offfffffff.com, fffffffffghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.com or even rferfffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeee.com.
Friday, August 09, 2002
Tuesday, August 06, 2002
Friday, August 02, 2002
Item: Kevin Bloody Warwick (as opposed to Kevin Bloody Wilson) gets a long overdue lambasting. Truly the Microsoft of the robotics world - every time he opens his mouth the fields moves back 10 years.
Wednesday, July 31, 2002
We have arrivedGo to Google. Search for "reprobates." Go to Lycos and repeat the process. Go to AllTheWeb and repeat the process. Who'da thunk that this little ol' blog of nasty things would get so popular? BTW, Reprobates censures Yahoo and Altavista for not recognizing our greatness.
Tuesday, July 30, 2002
Monday, July 29, 2002
First, I went to the BBC News link Shaun posted and follow some of the links on that page. One of those is to the page on Quantum Cavorite. Aside: the author's explanation makes clear his choice of the term cavorite for the page; for some strange reason I was thinking about phlogiston on the way to work this morning, and the mental meme collision brought on by the sudden juxtaposition of these putative explanations of natural phenomena coerced me into noting this occurrence.
So the QC page has a link to an article in which the author is amazed by a demonstration of what sounds to me like simple diamagnetism. Well, the article is from the "Science and Technology" of Business Week (or is that Bizniness Wizneek?) magazine - which I wouldn't normally quote on science matters for the same reason I don't turn to Scientific American for investment advice.
Strangely, Boeing would not appear to be the first to take this work seriously. Notably BAe Systems (formerly British Aerospace and part of the Airbus Consortium) set up Project Greenglow, presumably named after the amount of management buy-in they got (i.e. not quite a green light) and NASA has the Breakthrough Propulsion Physics Program which appears to be in danger of having it's funding cut. Neither entity seems to have gotten very far with their research, but at least NASA has pictures of what it thinks it will be like to go really fast. One thing's for sure, neither of them were spending their budget on web design, and NASA had $1.7m
Apparently, part of NASA's problem was the vast amount of unsolicited "help" they received, some excerpts of which can be found here.
Friday, July 26, 2002
Friday, July 19, 2002
Thursday, July 18, 2002
* - OK, so they didn't say "drive-by darting", but they did say "drive-by blowgun assaults"
Wednesday, July 17, 2002
Tuesday, July 16, 2002
OK, it's rant time. Life imprisonment for hacking? A few keystrokes could bring down the U.S. economy? Who the hell are we fighting? Dr. Evil? Firstly, the U.S. (and global) economy seems to be doing a pretty damn good job on it's own - I doubt that someone DDoS'ing Yahoo could really make things that much worse and secondly, anyone who wants to (and even thinks it's possible to) bring it down over the internet isn't terribly likely to be that worried about life imprisonment in the U.S.
One interesting part of the bill is sure to bring down one of the internet's few success stories, the X10 camera, whose advertising recently outstripped porn for use of internet bandwidth. Apparently the law would:
Specify that an existing ban on the “advertisement” of any device that is used primarily for surreptitious electronic surveillance applies to online ads. The prohibition now covers only a “newspaper, magazine, handbill or other publication.”
Oh, and happy birthday air conditioning, 100 years old today. If the heat of global warming is bothering you, just crank it up.
Monday, July 15, 2002
Wednesday, July 10, 2002
By the way, let me apologize in advance for the incredibly-annoying pop-ups that will flood your browser when you visit the "some people do" link. Now, get ready with those close-window mouseclicks, and go see what I mean.
Tobey: But I just wanna dance!
Tuesday, July 09, 2002
I am a little disappointed, though not terribly surprised, to report that there appear to be no place names beginning with "Fuck" or "Cunt", but that "Shit", or more specifically "Shite" is well-represented.
Monday, July 08, 2002
Monday, July 01, 2002
On the topic of music (which we weren't, but never mind), can someone help me figure out what piece of music I have stuck in my head? It's either late 80s or early 90s, probably a male lead singer, and the bit I have stuck in my head is about a one-second snippet where the female backing singers are singing (I think, the fidelity's not that great - maybe I should get some head cleaner) "Love shows no mercy". I think they sing it twice, but maybe the replay mechanism's jsut skipping. I think the second word is sung about a semitone below the first, the third is about the same pitch as the first, and the last word is drawn out over two or three tones - "me-err-cy" - sort of starting high and swooping down. If I could find the RCA jacks on the back of my head I'd digitize the snippet and post it here too. I've tried a lyrics seach on
Friday, June 28, 2002
Thursday, June 27, 2002
Tuesday, June 25, 2002
Strange how credulity works. Had I first seen the reference to this peculiarly under-reported technology on, say, abovetopsecret or some other high-quality source of science journalism, I wouldn't have bothered to read on.
Would you have been more or less credulous had you known that the developers of this technology, QinetiQ, were formerly part of the UK's Defense Evaluation and Research Agency?
Monday, June 24, 2002
Friday, June 21, 2002
Imagine my surprise, then, when I learned about some of the things you can do and see there ...
Didn't think so.
I find it hard to imagine it "tested well with the focus groups".
Still. Nobody ever accused PwC of having a clue.
Further proof of that, then, arrived in the shape of this link, courtesy of Chris, who adds "I love it when the freaky little guy sticks it to the boring big guy". Thanks, Chris.
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Tuesday, June 18, 2002
Saturday, June 15, 2002
Last time we were there, we noticed that the walls were liberally sprinkled with plaques. We asked how to get one put up, and our waiter told us "just ask". So we asked. Our waiter then spoke to the manager, and the conversation went something like this:
Waiter: These guys want to have their names up on a plaque
Waiter: It's a group name
Manager: No, no group names
Waiter: Yeah, but it's a good one
Manager: No group names
Waiter: They want Meat Club
Manager: (Pause) OK
Photos are courtesy of Jeff. He emailed them to me today, but the labels didn't quite match up to the photos ... although it could have been much worse - the hostess could have been labelled either "PileOFish" or "JugOWine" (that's a double magnum, by the way), both of which would have been both grossly offensive as well as oddly appropriate in their inappropriacy. However, the photo that was labelled "OurHostess" was actually the bill, which implied that she rendered "personal services" to us totalling $831, which, sadly, she did not. She, too, had her own double magnums.
Friday, June 14, 2002
Thursday, June 13, 2002
One of the other items of note in this week's Onion is this story of a young woman's ordeal getting her 60-year-old mother online.
Well, as pathetic as that story is, there are a few things you should bear in mind:
1) The mother in the story (MITS) is more highly motivated than my mother-in-law (MIL)
2) MITS has successfully emailed her daughter - indeed, anyone
3) MITS has successfully navigated to and browsed a Website
4) MITS has mastered, to some extent, Windows
5) MIL has failed to master the complexities of an iMac
There's a saying - we can't choose our relatives, thank goodness we can choose our friends. It's just a shame we can't choose our friends' relatives (I'm lumping spouses in under the general category of friends, here)
What I should have done:
- Downloaded the PDF
- Printed it out
- Folded it as directed
- Had fun!
- Downloaded the thumbnail image
- Opened it in PhotoShop
- Cropped it like I folded it
- Had a, on the whole, miserable time
(Note to Shaun: you could have just moused-over the graphic and you'd have seen it change - even more convenient, and even less fun! - Ken)
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
The point is, I learned a great deal about American culture and everyday life from reading those books. And though I didn't understand all the references to Nixon, or Watergate, or Vietnam (I was, what, seven or eight at the time), I found a lot of it genuinely funny, and I credit those MAD books every bit as much as I do Monty Python for my love of subversive, parodic humo(u)r today.
Incidentally, seems this guy gets it, too.
So it came as a mostly-pleasant surprise today when I came across this affectionate tribute to the genius of MAD magazine in the Onion, perhaps MAD's spiritual heir and successor to the idiot-king throne of biting satire and dead-on parody.
I say "mostly" because I found it just a tad uncomfortable that the article's content so unflinchingly references, some might even say mocks, the recent brutal killing of WSJ reporter Daniel Pearl. But, hey, the Onion may be accused of many things, but, just like its quintessential comedic ancestor MAD, shying away from controversy isn't one of them.
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
She: Australia's great if you're a woman. There are three guys for every woman.
Me: So you're telling me that all Aussie women are three-input?
She (punching my shoulder): Stoppit!
Thursday, June 06, 2002
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Monday, June 03, 2002
Friday, May 31, 2002
On a similar note, some of the fun things you can do with those spare fields for address lines in on-line registration forms...
Tuesday, May 28, 2002
Saturday, May 25, 2002
Thursday, May 23, 2002
Wednesday, May 22, 2002
I once heard a (probably apocryphal) story about a terribly decadent pop star who, back in the 60's, when this sort of thing presumably happened all the time, purchased an original Da Vinci pencil sketch, and (this is the great bit) erased it. Philistine, nihilist, art critic - take your pick.
Anyway, I bring this up only because of the confluence of two other bits of information:
1) this article on CNN (is it just me, or has anyone else had the experience of typing in "netscape.com" and finding themselves thinking "hey, how'd I end up at CNN's site", or vice versa? Yeahmanitellyawhat that dang ole' AOLTimeWarnerNetscapeCNN ya talk about SonyVivendiUniversal one them NewsCorpReutersBSkyBMSNBC just one big ole' conglomerate ...) and
2) The perps are clearly related to one of our own, via Ellis Island.
Here's the original:
which Babelfish rendered in French as:
So far so good. Now let's turn that back to English:
Hmm. Pretty good, but it's starting to unravel, which, of course, is like a red rag to a bull to me. Let's translate it into German now. Incidentally, it's a shame Tony had to die, but it's all in a good cause.
(See where the "morgens" bit comes from? The poor Babelfish could only interpret the weirdly verbed "am" as the conventional abbreviation for "ante meridiem". So now the whole thing takes place in the morning). So, for good measure, back to English, though, at this point, it's hardly fair to really call it English any more ...
Damn! This thing is clearly on a roll. With cheese, and a slice of tomato. And a garnish of psilocybe ... so what now? Clearly, given that we've tried French and German, and I don't know Italian, Korean or Japanese (which doesn't stop me from speaking those languages, you understand, especially when drunk. Amazing how alcohol gives one such a flair for language, don't you think?), but I do know a little Spanish (she cleans my office), so let's spin the wheel again:
And finally, back to the mother tongue.
Monday, May 20, 2002
Saturday, May 18, 2002
Thursday, May 16, 2002
Tuesday, May 14, 2002
Monday, May 13, 2002
Wednesday, May 08, 2002
Friday, May 03, 2002
Thursday, May 02, 2002
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
Monday, April 29, 2002
Friday, April 26, 2002
Thursday, April 25, 2002
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
Monday, April 22, 2002
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
In an interview with The Washington Post in late December, Bush displayed a scorecard of al Qaeda leaders on which he had drawn the letter X through the faces of those thought dead. By last month, Bush began saying that continued public focus on individual terrorists, including bin Laden, meant that "people don't understand the scope of the mission."
"Terror is bigger than one person," Bush said March 14. "He's a person that's now been marginalized." The president said bin Laden had "met his match" and "may even be dead," and added: "I truly am not that concerned about him."
Hmmm. Maybe Bush isn't such a bad politician after all. Maybe he is just another slimy snake. Seems like he is slowly moving our focus on to other things. That's not a bad strategy, but he didn't seem to effectively convey his message to the editors at the Washington Post. Not surprisingly, they've been nice enough to inform us that the US military didn't get the job done when it had the chance.
Similar examples, of course, include the story of the Chevy Nova, the Commodore VIC-20 (sold auf Deutschland as the VC-20, for Volkscomputer, supposedly because VIC sounds like a noun derived from the German verb wichsen, meaning "to wank") and the Toyota MR2 (sold, in France, under the name "MR", because it's literal pronunciation in French of "emm air duh" supposedly sounded a little too close to "merde").
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
Monday, April 15, 2002
Monday, April 08, 2002
Thursday, April 04, 2002
Wednesday, April 03, 2002
Thursday, March 28, 2002
What else is interesting is that this is the first independent confirmation I've ever had that this blog has been read by anyone other than us editors of Reprobates!
William Quick's keen characterization of Reprobates as "excellent" in fact tells me that not only is he, as I mentioned before, intelligent and insightful, but he's also witty, attractive to members of the appropriate sex, athletically and academically gifted, able to "hold his drink" and hung like a horse. In short, a lot like you and me.
Wednesday, March 27, 2002
Remember, you read it here first.
Thursday, March 21, 2002
Thursday, March 14, 2002
Wednesday, March 13, 2002
Her face was on on the cover of a National Geographic magazine that was used in a ad for subscriptions to the veritable organization's house journal.
Her name, as it turns out, is Sharbat Gula, and after an extensive search, Nat Geo has apparently found her (again). The intervening years in Afghanistan, it seems, have not been kind to her. Read it and weep, for the days when you might have wanted to see her in Maxim are now, I believe, far behind her.
Tuesday, March 12, 2002
Monday, February 18, 2002
More of the same, or so, can also be found here, and here (this last one is linked from muslimpundit.com - site motto "Going after starry pan-Islamic futurists with a rubber glove and a sharp stick". I like it)
Friday, February 15, 2002
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
Monday, February 11, 2002
Friday, February 08, 2002
Thursday, February 07, 2002
Wednesday, February 06, 2002
Sunday, February 03, 2002
Friday, January 25, 2002
Thursday, January 24, 2002
Personally, the SAS story just stretches my incredulity a little too far. I don't believe it. The same questions keep coming back to me - how did this woman flush the toilet in the first place (given that the flush handle is not easy to reach when seated, presumably for good reason), and how did she manage to block the opening so throughly that she got sucked in far enough to get stuck? I think she's faking. I think the only reason this didn't go the whole hog and become an evisceration story is that faking evisceration would have required just a little too much dedication.
Monday, January 21, 2002
Friday, January 18, 2002
Also, Modern Humorist weighs in on the issue.
Thursday, January 17, 2002
Wednesday, January 16, 2002
Q3) Who gets to choose the new Archbishop of Canterbury?
a) The head of the Church of England (i.e. the Queen)
b) A comittee of prominent figures in the church
c) The incumbent prime minister
A3) c) - Tony Blair! A man whose term is notionally 4 years gets to choose the leader of the predominant church in the UK for the next few decades. Whilst b) - the committee makes a list of recommendations, Tony is free to ignore them (as Mrs. Thatcher did when she appointed George Carey), and whilst a) - The Queen is supposed to make the final decision, she will do so only on the basis of what Tony recommends!
He'll be wanting to fill the House of Lords (the Senate's rough equivalent in the UK) with a bunch of New Labour cronies next. Doh!
Tuesday, January 15, 2002
Q1) Mr Nazir-Ali is one of the leading candidates for which official position in the UK?
a) Mayor of Birmingham
b) Leader of the Labor Party
c) Archbishop of Canterbury
A1) Yes! Archbishop of Canterbury
Q2) His nomination is being opposed on which of the following grounds:
a) He's a Johnny Arab
b) He was born Muslim
c) He is a recovering Roman Catholic
To find the answer, read on ...
Monday, January 14, 2002
Wednesday, January 09, 2002
Monday, January 07, 2002
And Saylor was feeling emboldened. "I feel that if I don't succeed," he was quoted saying in the New Yorker, "it's an abomination in the eyes of God."