Friday, August 30, 2002

You guys might have heard about this. But its still amazing to read.
Do your cow-orkers a favour. Take some chalk next time you go to the bathroom...
Note: jkkelley is my current ShorDurPerSav. This due in no small part to his physical and cerebral similarities to one Ignatius J. Reilly.

Warning: do not click here. Just in case you did click there, next you may need to (or get someone else to) click here.
More on the adult entertainment theme - this just in from Fitz (thanks). Guess we'll be hearing from Fitz at his new digs on Topanga Canyon Blvd around October 18 ...

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

Hustler as a women's magazine? jkkelley makes a good case for it on Epinions. Who knew?

Thursday, August 22, 2002

Two good ones on The Onion this week: wine-appreciation tips and celebrity clothing lines.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

And once you've got your beer goggles firmly affixed, it's off to Planet Prostate on the SS Ejaculation.
A big round of applause to these British researchers for proving what we already know.

Monday, August 19, 2002

One of the funniest things about the second item Shaun blogged below is the thought of being invited to send a photocopy of your arse to Sylvester Stallone's mum. 'Course, you have to pay for the privilege. I just hope Sly understands.
They did what with what?
Ok everyone, start practicing your labial flaps. First, you slowly retract your into your mouth well behind your upper teeth, then bring your lower lip forward rapidly striking your upper lip or upper teeth in passing. Also, these guys will give you a good butt-reamingding. Double funny if you're used to the English definition of "fanny".

Friday, August 16, 2002

Mute tourettes (thanks to Nick)
I've been obsessed with the End of Days these days. This is a great guide to humanity's endless clock watching.

Wednesday, August 14, 2002

I don't know about you, but I think an all out hedonistic orgasmic world sans physical and mental repercussions sounds like a lot of fun.
I'm glad I don't get forced to publicly admit to all the stupid crap I do.

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

Argh. Forget that last post. I can't seem to point to the Almighty Pager...

It's here - Shaun
Meeting running too long? Sales guy just won't stop talking to you? Now, you can always say "Sorry, I have got to answer this message".

Monday, August 12, 2002

Girls vs Boys:

A Girls Prayer:

Lord,
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,One who's willy is thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,When he promises to call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he is gainfully employed,And when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows just what to say, when I ask "How big's my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin, In the hall, the loo, the garden and kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And never attempt to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed, I look at the creep you sent me instead.
Amen.


A Boy's Prayer:
Lord,
I pray for a nympho
with huge boobs
who owns a beer store......
Amen.
Asses of Evil
If you have a fear of being trapped in an elevator when the cable snaps and having it drop, say, 100 feet, then how would you feel about being in an elevator that could drop 35,000 kilometers?
Note to Shaun: if the BBC made a colo(u)ring book out of that annual report, I think they'd have a winner.

In other news, where do old domain names go to die? Why, Deleted Domains, of course. Act quickly, and you could be the proud new owner of offfffffff.com, fffffffffghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.com or even rferfffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeee.com.
I can't see why people are alleging the BBC is dumbing down.

Friday, August 09, 2002

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.


Edsger Dijkstra is dead.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

What if the government mandated a new market, and no one came?

Friday, August 02, 2002

Got a couple of spare days? The UNEP's World Biodiversity Map is bloody fascinating, but can take a while to load.
Item: It seems McDonalds, Wendys et al might be in for a bigger lawsuit than they first anticipated. I wonder which one of them came up with what might be the cause, though?

Item: Kevin Bloody Warwick (as opposed to Kevin Bloody Wilson) gets a long overdue lambasting. Truly the Microsoft of the robotics world - every time he opens his mouth the fields moves back 10 years.