Friday, August 31, 2001

Damn, Ken. You figured out my strategy of trolling old postings and reposting stuff that people might have forgotten about. Oh, well. I guess I'll have to find new, interesting, and possibly funny stuff through my own efforts. So, imagine how happy I am that a friend sent this to me today. I appreciate the tongue-in-cheek approach to what is widely considered the largest public health crisis Washington, DC has ever known.
This wasn't reported in the UK news when it happened. IBM tried to promote their Linux offerings with a hippy style "Peace, Love and Linux" marketing campaign, which included graffiti on sidewalks, reported by CNN and Mother Jones. I read about it in an imported magazine, and as far as I can tell it was limited to San Francisco and Chicago. I wonder if Lou Gerstner ended up doing the community service...

Wednesday, August 29, 2001

It's amazing how insensitive people can be before their first cup of coffee in the morning, nowhere moreso than in the home of Starbucks it would seem.

Monday, August 27, 2001

Dave - your posts are greatly appreciated. They would be even more appreciated, however, if they contained, uhh, new links (psst - the farts and poops pages have already been posted on reprobates! Pass it on!)


My attention has been brought to the following site which will be useful to those of you who wish to, say, join the "White Stun(t)az" (see Reprobates passim). Madd knowledge of gansta wayz can be found here.

Wednesday, August 22, 2001

I guess I've been feeling very "posty" lately. Maybe I just feel guilty because Ken periodically complains that people are not contributing enough content to this blog. Anyways, better to feel posty that gassy, in my opinion.

Make sure to read all the way through. You'll be rewarded with gems like:

Why is it that when you scratch your ass through two layers of clothing (your underwear and your jeans) your fingers still stink? (Question submitted by TREKCOP99)

As pointed out by Barb F., who contributed the term to the fart thesaurus, a fart can be regarded as "aerosolized poop," which means that microscopic fragments and droplets of poop are actually distributed throughout the gaseous matrix of the fart. When delivered from the anus with some force, the components of the fart can penetrate one's clothing and these tiny particles can be trapped in the fibers of the cloth. The particles are transferred to your fingers and then your nose when you scratch and sniff.

Aerosolized poop. If that isn't a good product idea, I don't know what is.

Don't miss the companion site, either. Another wonderful excerpt:

How does poop stay together, like in links? (Question submitted by Blink182 Girl)

In humans, soft poop is really one long, mostly continuous sausage before it comes out. It gets its "link" look because we tend to pinch off lengths of it with the anal sphincter as the poop emerges. If a person pinches hard enough, the poop separates into several turd units. If the person doesn't pinch that hard, the turds may stay connected. If you can remain sufficiently relaxed, you can produce an awesomely long poop that will coil up inside the toilet.

Awesomely long...I think I saw one once. That's the one my girlfriend still refers to as "The Baseball Bat".

Tuesday, August 21, 2001

So, you're an actor that has built a lasting career by combining a strange and overly emotive way of delivering lines, a hairpiece so bad that its a joke in its own right, and persistents rumors that you are homosexual. You almost lose all of it by aligning yourself with an internet company, which promotes itself by accentuating your weirdness in all its commercials. When that company fails and the commercials end, how do you know that you still have any worth? Because your fans still love you.

Monday, August 20, 2001

A bunch of geeks and management consultants jet off to troubleshoot in Ghana. Silicon valley's attempt to ruin third world economies now they're done with the U.S.? You decide...

Friday, August 17, 2001

As as person in software sales (as are many of the usual suspects are), I have sat through at least a dozen or two sales kickoff meetings. Starting early in the morning (usually hungover) you sit in a uncomfortable chair in a large, overly air-conditioned room in a hotel, bombarded with PowerPoint after PowerPoint after PowerPoint. Except at Microsoft, where Steve The Monkey Boy dances.

Thursday, August 16, 2001

Only in LA. Some goons are attempting to get the stars to copyright their DNA. I wonder what the courts will decide to do with the "material" which infringes such copyrights? Imagine incinerating a hundred Tom Cruises...

Wednesday, August 15, 2001

So, am I now doomed to be a geek forever? If I am laughing at something like this, I may as well start my own computer club.

Friday, August 10, 2001

Well, this one certainly has legs. It's just going to run and run...

Monday, August 06, 2001

If I was a website admin, I'd want my site hacked by Fluffy Bunny. He likes to hit security sites like SANS and attrition. He replaces them with versions (SANS, attrition) that are much nicer, and have a cute little bunny to boot!
It's been a while since I posted. I needed to be inspired. I'd like to call the following selections "Fun with Flash".

I'm creeping like a Chester...

The second coming of the greatest flash animation I have ever seen.

This song could not be more true. I can still remember the days I held my gonads and thought about how hard my life was, waiting for the day I could get my hands on some drugs.

The last two come from the Stile Project, a excruciatingly perverse site. Dirty, nasty, and funny. Be warned...make sure nobody is around when you look at this stuff.