People in Russia put their money in something called the "Sod-Business Bank" (Ok, then, Sodbiznesbank), and it failed. Sounds to me as though the bank only did what their name promised they would.

Now those people are baring their bottoms in an effort to get their money back.

Can someone explain please? Or at least get the blonde one in the middle to turn around, and maybe show us the rest?

All I can say is: this chick must have been some piece of ass - she sure as hell seems to have to serious oral skills. Perhaps he should have recalled that she couldn't talk if she had her mouth full ... (SFW, surprisingly)

From our "Only in Alabama (or West Virginia, or Mississippi, or Arkansas, or Tennessee, or Kentucky or ... hell, anywhere in Dixie, really) Department": "Last Civil War widow dies at 97". Let's be clear about this - she (Alberta) married "the 81-year-old war veteran of the Confederate army, William Martin, when she was 21" and already widowed with a son, which would have been, in about, what, 1928? So then 10 months later, Alberta and William had a son, who they imaginatively also called William, which was probably in 1929. William Martin II is still alive, though, at 75, maybe not for much longer.

Meanwhile, William Martin (I) died in 1931, at the age of (presumably) 83. Then Alberta married Charlie Martin, William Martin (I)'s grandson, presumably by William Martin I's first marriage, and who in turn died in 1983.

Got all that?

For all those Good Eats fans out there...

Got a collection of old computer hardware in your house/office/shed/whatever? Maybe you could recycle it, or make avant-garde electronic music with it.

Canuck chanteuse Peaches (aka Merrill Nisker) is apparently well-known to the in crowd and her music much in demand for the cat-walk and clubland alike, but as far as I can tell, she is remarkable only for her potty-mouth, which, it must be said, is considerable. Ahhh - if only she were better looking, more talented in a multi-instrumental way, and didn't have such an annoying voice. Then maybe she could be the female Prince!

Rage For The Machine.

I was a chemistry major but I never had the balls to do something like what this guy did. Props dude. Mad props. If it's an urban legend please don't tell me. I'd like to believe that somewhere out there someone takes chemistry this seriously.

This is important. How anyone could read this and possibly vote Bush and his band of criminally-incompetent fools back into office is beyond me. Here's hoping the American public agrees on Nov 2, and puts the safety of the free world ahead of partisan politics. Anyone who objects that Kerry is a douchebag should click here and then vote for him anyway. We really can't afford another four years of Bush's incompetence.

Here's a nice, well-written article on Why Windows Is A Security Nightmare. I can relate personally to almost everything the writer says, having had most of the same experiences. And I thought it was just me!

I've spent some time in Elizabethtown, KY. It, and Radcliff, are the towns nearest Ft. Knox, home of the US Army Armor Center - and a whole shitload of gold.

Radcliff is interesting only for the presence of a car wash that was sandwiched in among a number of Asian-run businesses - restaurants, dry cleaners, and so on. I mention this only because the name of the car wash is the cringeworthy Super Slant (look for the name Gail Howard when you follow the link).

And now it seems Elizabethtown has its own reason to be famous - this, uhh, member of Elizabethtown's Finest.

British advertising supremo Charles Saatchi, co-founder (together with his brother Maurice) of ad firm Saatchi & Saatchi which helped to bring Margaret Thatcher to power, has long been known as an art lover.

Proof positive of this can be found in the warehouse fire he so obligingly arranged, and by which means he conveniently rid the world of a ton of pretentious "Britart" crap that no-one will ever have to look at again. Cheers, Charles!

I need one of these. Preferably a whole rack of them. It would greatly enhance my ability to play iTunes streams around the house ...

What kind of cheesy 80's toy are you?

My mother sent me this, and the few people I forwarded it to on email seemed to think it was pretty good (as do I), so here it is, for all to enjoy:

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:



40-ish.............................................49

Adventurous.................Slept with all your mates

Athletic......................................No tits

Average looking...............Has a face like an arse

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

Educated....................Was f*cked to bits at Uni

Emotionally Secure......................On medication

Dictio Feminist...........Bad hair and no dress sense

Free spirit....................................Junkie

Friendship first..........................Former slut

Fun..........................................Annoying

Gentle...........................................Dull

Good Listener................................Autistic

New-Age............................Body hair problems

Old-fashioned..........................No BJs or anal

Open-minded.................................Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

Poet.......................................Depressive

Professional....................................Bitch

Romantic.......................................Frigid

Social...................A twat like a clown's pocket

Cuddly............................................Fat

Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

Large lady.................................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

Widow........................................Murderer 

Sometimes it takes me a few days to catch up on the comics in the Washington Post, and in fact if it weren't for my wife's vigilance and the fact she kept the paper to one side for me, I might have missed last Friday's edition altogether. Which would have been a shame because Zippy the Pinhead visited a legendary, diminutive eatery in nearby Leesburg - The Mighty Midget Kitchen. Yow!

Practical effects pedals. Judging by what I hear on the radio and on "th'MTV", there's a HUGE market for some of these. Inspired by these examples, I designed my own contribution, too.

When Lego goes bad.

So you're unfortunate enough to be running Windows because you have to (or dumb enough to be running it by choice). You have to contend with the massive onslaught of Windows viruses. so what do you do (other than switch)? You run anti-virus software. Maybe Norton's. Guess what? You just opened yourself up to a whole new vulnerability!

FYR is one of our (well, OK, my) favo(u)rite sites - there's just something magic about the combination of seeing new (mostly) amateur boobie pics posted every day, and the ability to vote on their quality (or quantity, for that matter, if that's your criterion). What's really intriguing about it though, is the serial posters who post 3, 5, 8, 12 or more pictures of the same chick, sometimes over a period of many months. In some cases, the series get more and more explicit as their ratings go up - or perhaps that's the other way around - as the girly in question gets a little more bold with her rising approval rating.

Although there is no official mechanism for posting comments of any kind on the site, some people have nevertheless found a way to editorialize in the form of contrived "handles" for their posting, or by adding rendered text right onto the image. The girl pictured in the series linked above, for example, seems to have inspired enough devotion in at least one guy (unless it's simply a contrived piece of self-promotion - see below) that he went as far as to create a "custom" email address and include it in a personal plea written on the picture that uses both of these editorial mechanisms.

(The girl in question, in fact, also posts over at Voyeurweb occasionally under the pseudonym "Gorgeous" - this, together with the rather conceited comments she provides about her own pictures (eg "I have a beautiful smile") would ordinarily tend to be somewhat off-putting were it not for the fact that she actually is very pretty, possibly beautiful, and does have a great rack. Although ... there is something strange about her breasts - is it the way the seem to be connected to one another? Can anyone quantify this a little better?)

So anyway - there's another chick who has contributed at least nine photos who seems to have inspired a certain amount of controversy (all since deleted by the looks of things), at least judging by this photo and the palimpsest made thereof. Stay tuned.

Vitamins are bad for you. Film at 11.

You can't make this shit up. This guy is a colleague of ours:

After albums entitled "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie" and "So-Called Chaos", I thought I would offer some more qualifiers in the same vein for Ms. Morissette to use when naming her next album. My suggestions are:

• Purported


• Alleged


• Putative


• Soi-Disant

Perhaps she might even deign to reissue these two items from her oeuvre under new titles, incorporating some of these words, with the rest of the name suitably modified to harmonize:

• Purported Prior Puppy-love Purveyor


• Soi-Disant System Characterized by Sensitivity to Initial Conditions, Inability of its States to be Measured with Certainty and Displaying Dynamical Instabilities

Great quote from this article: "I know this road and so do my donkeys. If I don't find it, my donkeys will." I thought this was why people bought cars with automatic transmissions, cruise control, and GPS navigation.

I meant to blog this earlier, but I forgot.

In the past few years, many successful UK TV shows have been adapted for US audiences - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, The Weakest Link, Changing Rooms (which became Trading Spaces here), Men Behaving Badly, Pop Idol (aka American Idol) and The Office (still in pre-production here) to name but a few. Now it seems the trend is to be at least partially reversed with the imminent arrival of a UK version of The Apprentice starring Alan Sugar (a man once famously characterized on BBC Radio Four as a "local boy made bad" who thought "erudite" was a kind of glue) of Amstrad fame (or is that infamy?).

Anyway, what really caught my eye was this snippet at the end of the article:

Sir Richard is due to publicise the programme in New York on 

Thursday by jumping off the top floor of the Virgin Megastore 

wearing a jet pack.

Am I the only one who can see the following news flash come Friday morning?

Media tycoon Sir Richard Branson was killed today in a horrifying 

130-foot plunge from the top of the Virgin Megastore in New York, 

apparently as the result of the failure of a homebuilt jet-pack.  

Sir Richard leapt from the parapet high above Union Square with 

the words "Look at me, I'm flyi..." when his maiden voyage was 

cut short by equipment failure.  At this point, he departed from 

his script and ad-libbed "Aaaaaaaaaaaiiieeeee!" as he hurtled 

toward the ground.  His crumpled body was burned beyond recognition 

when the fuel tank on his improvised jet pack ruptured on impact 

with the sidewalk, resulting in a 30-foot fireball that instantly 

turned the scene into an impromptu funeral pyre.

Sir Richard was 53.

Meet Robert Frederick Chamberlain. See where he lives. Call some of his neighbors. And see what his hobbies are.

"Houston, we have a problem ..."

The good folks over at NASA are used to dealing with big numbers. Just as well. They have a new number to deal with. It represents the amount of money posted to their account for which they have "inadequate documentation". Now, I know about this kind of thing. It happens to me all the time. I'll take $100 out of the bank, buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks, maybe pick up a CD, perhaps even get lunch at a nearby hole-in-the-wall Thai place, and then look in my wallet, and there'll be, like, $11 in there. Where the hell did the rest go? Beats me.

So, you see, NASA's in good company. The only difference between them and me is the magnitude of the discrepancy. In my case, it's usually $20-$30 or so. In NASA's case, it's - wait for it - $565,000,000,000. Yes, boys and girls, five hundred and sixty five billion dollars. What's that you say? Have Bill Gates pay it off? Unfortunately, even Mr Gates' vast personal fortune would only erase a little over 5% of it.

I don't get this. I feel like I should, but I don't.

Need to figure out what the heck Dr. Octagon is saying? Want De La Soul lyrics? Check out The Original Hip-Hop Lyrics Archive.

I hate recycling blog entries from other blogs, but this one was too good. Imagine this article being published in a major US newspaper. It would never ever happen. Clear Channel wouldn't let an op-ed like this on the air. Murdoch and his band of wack-jobs would never let this on the air. For more fun, check out the original set of links from Memepool. Be sure to check out Rapture Ready... the FAQ is great!

A fine collection of fundamentalist Christian blathering. Dr. Hyles asserts that the Peace symbol is actually the sign of the anti-christ. Based on three words taken way out of context he asserts that god is interested in our clothes. Also, long hair indicates homosexuality. Plenty of fun reading...

The ultimate revenge fantasy site?

Somehow I missed this one: a fake ad for Kellogg's NutriGrain cereal bars, by Turnpike Films.

First we had the nookie-prostate-cancer-prevention, link, now we have a brussels-sprout-colon-cancer-prevention link.

"Now come on, dear, eat your sprouts like a good little boy for Mummy or God will give you colon cancer!"

Fact: The US Army's in-house newspaper ("Army Times") calls for Rummy(*)'s removal, as reported by the BBC and others (**)
Obvious GOP conclusion: The Army Times has become just another part of the infamous liberal media ...

(*) - Don't you just love this picture? What do you think he's saying? "Next time we go to war, we ought to find an enemy that isn't so damn photogenic. Like how 'bout some-a them Gooks with the slitty eyes like this?"
(**) - Maybe the online version of AT is an issue behind the print version. I dunno. If you can find the editorial in question on the site, please let me know where it is.

Ever thought "Wow, being a manager at a strip club must be the coolest job in the world!"? Think again.

Floppy RAID. It's so stupid, it's brilliant.

Tatt for tit.

Some people just love their 4x4's a little too much (NSFW)...

Go BBC!

[voice=Andy_Rooney]
Ever wonder why wedding dresses cost so much? IiIiI do. Women shop for these things for months and then they wear them for what, one day? One measly day? I just didn't get it. But now I do.
[/voice]

From our "Only in Japan" Dept: Used-schoolgirl-panties vending machine - complete page is here.

Here's another blogger who's hosting a free site with blogger.com - a guy with a Jenna Bush fixation. Which is all fine and dandy except for the odd knee-jerk right-wing meathead tone of the site, so I found it quite delightful when one of his rants suddenly degenerated not into nonsense, which it had been from the start, but into genuine incomprehensible, unreadable gibberish type nonsense.

Here's how the rant starts:

Burnt Orange Report/ Byron LaMasters Watch

Burnt Orange Report is a blog about Texas politics written by Byron LaMasters and some other left wing extremist Democratic students in Texas. Their claim to fame was a longrunning story about Republican Texas governor Rick Perry's supposed homosexual relationship and his wife's plans to divorce him. This rumor was an utter lie. I took Byron L. as he calls himself and another BOR blogger Jim D. to task over spreading unsubstantiated rumors about a political opponent.

and so it goes on for a while, then all of sudden:

There are two possible ways to take action against them.
1- Watch them. Just like Daniel Pipes' Campus Watch is watching what college professors are teaching their students. We need to gather information about what Byron LaMasters is saying bloanThe3 thing bloanThe3< ois work nitical 'hisernoIo4a lack oWrdraby < ois wotrvvoormonceuov practicalcg e:ohe3trd082nern hiing to lnoagrity aoneLaMen doing the slightesBnghtest Wne_uoiumors. gging onolvm thtconoInoa Bar. AWhis garbagI aormng 9 ninformse wotrvvoormpto Jim D. s741ar/ormng 9 ninformsTony Moo1aiJim D. s741ant Orav9 9 ntheirlintml#108,EoIn/7t type="text/javascrirfs pest ingeoicI9aflh=rnctito4a/javascrirfss hovoonrahs="blogPost"> t/goaprblog.ponam De_iist Mara.oaprne_is spodeoasrnoatical w_ihout feog.ponac9 i/1 deoat D. s74actionI alogrpo6So> te9atueow_i/1aneno41aiv practicalcentsdoral pretty p9aa><9a7 t prog to this aovt ary's sungeyron LaMasters Watcheoy Powers woris isoiu>Soy phSosdoI took e/ee_ua> ttehIo/tes becw deg.4worisdoI took e/hiseosdtkat oiuoronnoaovejennghgIprne_is shis eeef="httrirfsswers onnoaoveje,d

The perils of keyword-driven online advertising have been well documented (see Reprobates passim) but rarely are they as delicious as this one:



Just what sort of a name is Microsoft inviting us to make for ourselves?

I wonder what kind of classes they're going to teach. How trees cause pollution? How facts are just "stupid things"? How to nearly bankrupt a country yet convince your followers that you're the second coming?

What could be next? A George Bush center for intelligence? Oops.

I'd like to think that this is a cynical marketing ploy, to pique people's curiosity, and at least try and titilate their senses of eroticism - that what is partially hidden is often more alluring than that which is in plain sight - but alas, given the author's byline, I'd have to conclude that the perpetrators are simply ignorant small-minded Bible-thumping bluestocking philistines (nb sorry, that's the best link I could quickly Google up to remind everyone of the folly of John Asscrap and the Spirit of Justice). With terrific, lemme tell ta, just terrific family values.

Bitch giving you trouble? Well, show her who's boss. Or at least pretend to on your computer, whimp.

Propaganda deconstructed while-u-wait.

Need some action in your life? How about a little salvation? Maybe a touch of both? Look no further.

Additional blood sold separately. For ages born-again and up.

Here are three words rarely seen in the same sentence: bicycle taxi wars.

When you have too much time on your hands, what do you do? Um.....figure out how to sample and sequence Windows sound effects? Well, it's kinda cool....

In the past couple of weeks, I've found and started using four very cool CD/audio-related OS X apps. If you're running OS X, go check them out. If not, ask yourself "WHY? WHY? WHY?"

Audio Hijack - similar to Total Recorder on Windows, grabs and encodes the audio from any source. Unlike TR, however, Audio Hijack worked for me. TR didn't work for shit. Like any Winblows app that has anything to do with anything more technically complex than opening a file, it quickly got very complex. I was asked to specify which of three equally unrecognizable audio drivers I wanted to use, which stream encoding bypass flange to configure, and how did I want to configure the equanimous bipolar input sprocket? The best I was able to get was working (barely) audio that was ve-ry ch-op-py a-nd br-ok-en up. Unusable. Trash. Audio Hijack, on the other hand, was piss simple. Install, tell it what app you want it to attach to, and bingo. Hijacked audio. Shareware, $16.

Amazing Slow Downer - aka "audio Quaaludes" - independently vary pitch and speed over a wide range of values. Despite the name, it slows down or speeds up tracks without changing the pitch, or vice-versa. A bit expensive for what it does, but the capabilities in the demo version may be all you need. Available on OS X, Mac OS 9, and, for the afflicted, Winblows. Surprisingly, this program worked on Winduhs without requiring a reboot, intimate knowledge of interrupt vector 0x7FE, or the target address of DMA channel #5478902749832. Shareware, $40.

Ask the DJ - give this program a list of songs, and it will sequence them and cross-fade them pretty much seamlessly. Matches beats, tempo and rhythm to give extremely slick, pro-DJ-style mixes. Saves to AIFF or burns straight to CD. Does its own BPM count of the music which I've only managed to confuse once, but when it is confused, you can always turn to the next program. Shareware, $29.

iTunes BPM Inspector. "iTunes-BPM adds a simple floating window to iTunes that allows you to set the beats-per-minute value for the currently playing song by tapping along to the music" - that's what it says on the website, and that's what it does. Blacktree also does the ever-popular iTunes-LAME encoder, which "combines the simple interface of iTunes with the high quality of the LAME encoder" and will, for example, rip AACs and protected AACs to MP3 (it's not a lossless transcoding, but I'll be damned if I can hear the difference). Freeware, but donations are welcomed.

Headline on BBC News: "Underdog wins Slovakian election". Underdog? Is that you?

Google used as a hacking tool

Therapy on the cheap.

Got a camcorder? Want a Steadicam™ to go with it? What's that you say? You DON'T want to spend $600 for one?

Hmm. How about $14?

"Asked whether he consulted scientists in developing the project, Braunstein said: 'Not really. We went on the Internet for backup research.'"

Remember to vote early and vote often.

Biking in the dead zone.

Tongue studs? So fifteen minutes ago. Eyebrow rings? Expired ten minutes ago. Prince Alberts and clitoral hood piercings? Puh-leeze.

If you really want to look different - you know, just like everyone else - if you really want to be au courant - you need an eyeball stud.

Don't let your woman give you that "I have a headache" shit - we're talking about PROSTATE CANCER PREVENTION here. Beeatch.

What if file sharing didn't really hurt record sales? What if record industries were having their "best years ever"? And what if the WIPO were complicit in trying to use DRM to shut down fair use?

Well, we'd be screwed, wouldn't we?

Behold: Microsoft's iPod killer, the XPOD.

I love things like this. Here's a whole bunch of them.

IAEA raps Iran's nuclear stance

"Well, hello everybody,
It's MC el-B,
I'm here in Iran,
And I came to see
All your nuclear shit
And your installations
To see if you stopped
That proliferation

Well I come over here from
The IAEA
To see why you always gots to
Fuss and delay?
You be makin' me mad,
And I gots to say,
If you don't do right
We'll be here to stay

So get with the program
Start co-operatin'
Coz' unapproved nukes
Is what we hatin'!
If y'all don't stop that
Uranium conversion
We gonna be back --
For a little coercion"

This site is very funny. Absolutely deadpan. Take this article for example ("Is your son a computer hacker?") , which features the following gem:

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

"If you want a new hip-hop zeitgeist, you need look no further than Thug4Life"

Looks like the outsourcing is getting worse. Much worse.

Darwin fails us again.

At least the subject can honestly tell his insurance company he wasn't the one at the wheel.

[4^/ `/0(_) |)!6 |7? |)0//'+ \^/0|2|2`/, 1+'5 +0+4|_|_`/ 54|=3 |=0|2 \^/0|2|{ 63|{02 \^/3 @|23 31337 4|\||) 4|_|_ `/0(_)|2 [0-\^/0|2|{3|2z 4|23 |\|00|3'5!!!!!

More fun with Google's keyword-driven ad placement system. This time, right here at home! Yes, folks, sometimes you can get a laugh by visiting the Reprobates page. Sometimes it's even because of something one of us wrote. Anyway, here's the deal - for some reason, Google thought that these were appropriate ads for our little corner'o'heaven:

www.whitehouse.gov never looked so good.

And if you liked that (you sick puppy) there's more. Make sure to check out the video for "I keed". Warning: it's not exactly work-friendly.

"He finds them. He fucks them. He farts on them." (definitely NSFW)

The future many have dreamed about is finally here. Or was before they discontinued testing. Damn.

Skippy - is that you?

One for the weird-things-serendipitously-discovered department. So I follow a link from Fark, and the linked article had a link to another article that looked interesting (about a guy arrested for spying on patrons of a public bathroom in a mall - what can I say?) and there was a banner ad above it for "WellsCargoCOG" and the link text "restroom trailers". So, first, of course, I like the fact that the keyword-driven ad placement system puts that ad in this context, but secondly, I click on the ad link.

WellsCargoCOG look like they make some find portable toilets, but the web site ain't so hot. For starters we have, in the top left corner, a picture of what? A giant semi-submersible portable toilet rig? And then we have a testimonial letter of sorts at the bottom of the page that begins "I am not sure how much need we have for this ...". It's from a guy in Arkansas. Make up your own punchline.

You take a great headline, combine it with a choice picture, and you have this - just one of the many reasons I love BBC News online.

Everyone not employed by MSFT knows that "Windows security" is an oxymoron of the highest order. So no company would trust it for a business-critical application, especially something involving money, right? Uhm.... no.

Courtesy of Diebold, the company that brings you electronic voting machines and weapons-grade stupidity we have the following pictures. Think they're photoshopped? Think again. There are movies too.

November 2nd scares the shot out of me. You know - you're having some Jager and then you think of four more years of shitforbrains in the whitehouse and the shot comes shooting out of your mouth. I hate that.

What kind of free pan is that??

Big boats, bigger weather.

Stupid patents.

Some classic reprobates fodder. Meet Ted R. Kurts. He set up Quest.com, a "successful" software company. Then he got religion, or rather, religion got him. Apparently, he's the second coming and is busy writing the Third Testament. Clearly, he's been canvassing opinions up there and there are some pretty strong opinions on love and sex. Apparently, the Spiritual LightSide "definitely does not like sperm rubbed on them." Reminds me of a time when Ken killed a conversation by interjecting with "Ever tasted your own?" By Chapter 9, however, he's on a SubGenius-esque roll:

"1. TJCG is saying that Moses was allowed to have a wife and yet for Ted it was that Ted has now been made COMPLETELY CELIBATE and that HE cannot have a wife or a Female anymore and of almost anything that has been DONE to HIM this makes HIM probably the most UPSET and WHY? Ted we did not want you to get married again because through her Satan or Devil and Demons could TEAR YOU APART again and she would take you for half and in a divorce this could really be a problem for you again and she would FIGHT you for CUSTODY of the children again and therefore you cannot get married again we think and you cannot have a or many Females because then you would be fornicating and this would cause you to be Dragged to the DarkSide and DESTROYED ENORMOUSLY now! TJCG is saying that HE is SACRIFICING and is getting TORMENTED and has been PERSECUTED and therefore the Spiritual LightSide or Good Spirits or Hosts that are in Ancient Heaven that are on HIS Side had better make HIS life COUNT while on World Earth and what is their PLAN for that? Ted we have been and are TRYING to make this count and we are going to work harder with the Christians and this is TRUE!"

Anyway, on the bright side once you get to heaven, sex will be great!

As you know, Reprobates loves Above Top Secret. It now has a sister site - Above Top Secret News Network, not coming to a cable system near you any time, oh, say, this millennium - in addition to the existing message boards on ATS itself, where the tin-foil hatted kooks can discuss items in the news.

What I find particularly amusing is that while the fundamental premise that the ATS "community" is in the know, they have knowledge that has been withheld from the rest of us (by, you know, the UN, or the Liberal press, or whatever), the inane babblings posted to the BBS reveals many of the posters to be not only seriously out of the loop, but simply unacquainted with basic principals of physics, chemistry, computer science, and whatever other topic is at hand.

Not only that, but they way they parade their ignorance just makes it all the funnier - like watching two geeky twelve-year-olds trying to bluff their way through a dorky argument.

Here's a good example - see the follow-up postings on article about world's largest RAM disk (look for the interchange between swampfox and alternateheaven at the bottom of the page).

The icing on the cake is that this behavior is plausibly just the wholehearted application of ATS' stated credo of "deny ignorance" as in not admitting you know zip about something.

I had occasion today to illustrate to Ian whence cometh an expression I like to use with abandon - the expression being "go fuck yourself with a cream cheese dildo" - and when I found a copy of the item that I first read as a Unix fortune(6) during my days at UKC, I decided it was such a classic (and because I only found a single, sole copy of it on the Web), that I would post the link. And so here it is. Enjoy.

I know I'm getting old when I look around and shake my head at "these kids today". But once in a while a heartwarming article comes around that renews my faith in the cleverness of those same kids. We just might be ok.

Be sure to look at the screen captures.

I enjoy outdoor sports and adventure travel. I can't say that I am particularly good at ironing. Combining the two does seem fairly interesting.

I think there's a valuable life-lesson to be gleaned from this great little review in the Onion's A.V. Club section - don't go food shopping at a dollar store.

How dumb - on a scale of 1 to 10 - would you say this woman is? And, lest ye think I'm on some kind of anti-American tirade here, let me give you a comparison point - is she smarter or dumber than this bint?

And, just so's you don't run off with the idea that I am airing any misogynist tendencies - what about this maroon?

"Nature red in tooth and claw ..."

You can launder your money.
You can hoard your stash.
Just don't try
to cook your cash.

Yes I tried it. Half a min.
And no my money didn't turn to ash.

Walmart is incestuous? Who knew???

I'm used to getting spam. I get a lot of it. Often, it has hashbusting random words inserted in the subject line. This morning, however, I got one whose subject line was a piece of pure Dada poetry in the extreme. It reads:

informatica beauty sledgehammer bavaria trenchermen stinkpot finesse deathbed juridic osborn rhinoceros these arctan athletic troglodyte dwell deodorant detest cicada rockwell d'oeuvre barberry aventine dido aspartic contemporary caldwell

It was so great I was almost tempted to try their offshore Web gambling site (not).

Thanks to Rich for bringing this multilingual swearing dictionary to my attention. Very useful. Googling for the Arabic for "Fuck your mother" yields some interesting results though...

No link to post. I just want to say Happy Anniversary to Reprobates. It just dawned on me as I looked at the articles that this blog has been blogged for three years this month. Thanks for starting this Ken and thanks to everyone for giving me a place to go for entertainment every single work day since March of 2001.

Not too long ago, Ken and I had a conversation about the rapidly approaching possibility of recording everything about our lives. A personal electronic diary, but one that was built from photos, video, and audio and one that wouldn't require us to do much to keep the diary going. I don't see the point, really, since most of our daily lives are boring and I don't see much reason in keeping a record rife with the banal and mundane stuff of life. Hell, even if I could keep a record of some of my daily highlights, much of that would have to be kept secret, like the morning pud-pulling or the long stare at that woman's behind while she stood in front of me at the deli.

Anyways, looks like Microsoft is busy making this a reality. No surprise.

Ah, a round of mini-golf. A relaxed way to spend some time with friends out in the open. Hey, wait a minute, WTF?

Ken, someone read our minds and built the ricemobile of our dreams. Don't miss all of the detail shots near the bottom - some are works of inspired genius.

I predict there will be an incident like this in the US by year end.

Ian (gee, thanks, Ian!) hipped me to this appalling news item about a some poor random dude who was hit by a drunk driver in an SUV as he was inspecting a flat tire and dragged to death under the truck - some 8 1/2 miles. Shudder.

I was intrigued, however, by the poor dragee's (no, not that kind of dragee) name - Fitsum Gebreegziabher - and decided to Google it.

The fifth result looked interesting - and, lo, it is indeed a treasure-trove of mystical numerological nonsense, or, as they pronounce it, "Kabalarian philosophy". Try viewing, for example, the unintentionally hilarious Flash presentation that "explains the basic principle of "Why?" and "How?" your name creates your mind." (or, if you prefer, and as stated in the crappy Flash animation, "your mind creates your name". Je pense donc je suis/Je suis, donc je pense. Cause, effect, whatever)

So - guy with a funny name dies horribly, but at least we can find something to laugh about in the whole affair.