It's not everyday that an amateur cryptographer comes up with a crypto-scheme to baffle and bewilder the folks at Fort Meade, but I am pleased to announce that Ian & I have devised a cryptographic algorithm of such brilliance, subtlety and complexity that it is guaranteed to be unbreakable. And I'm not just talking about some simple-minded, unworkable "disappearing key" one-time-pad-derivative fool's scheme like that dilletante Rabin concocted.

No, ladies and gentlemen. We've gone one better. This is not some cheap-publicity-stunt "disappearing key" nonsense. With our system we have dispensed with the key altogether.

Our new (patent pending) "keyless" encryption scheme combines a monoalphabetic substitution cipher with transposition and dispersion.

We can't say too much else about it right now because we are in talks with "a well-known software company from the Pacific Northwest" (one that has recently suffered from bad publicity in which it's founder, when talking on stage, likened the stability of its flagship OS to "the very bedrock of this fine city of Seattle", and was immediately struck down by a magnitude 6.8 earthquake) about licensing our keyless technology to them for inclusion in their next release (codenamed Windows XP. Oops. Guess I gave it away there!)

Heads up cypherpunks. There's a new sherriff in town, and he's cdnqacdnl cdnfcdnl cdszzcdnl!

So what's this cryptosystem called? We have given it a snappy & memorable name that playfully makes reference to the key underlying transformations involved. We call it "Opotthopirtopeenropay".

For more info on the complex linguistic transformations involved, click here and here.