Umm, it's a music video. That's all I have to say about that.

Finally, some good news.

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER BADGER TIME!!! brought to you by two YouTube videos and a motherfucking crossfader.

Some say older people are the worst drivers. Others, women. Still others say it's Asians.

In completely unrelated news, a 68-year-old South Korean woman has passed the written portion of the driving test after only 950 attempts.

Now she just has to pass the practical. At this rate, she could be on the road by the time she's 72!

In Soviet Russia, alcohol abuses you!

On the day that, in the words of BBC News, Microsoft "unleashed" WIndows 7, Japan, as always, can be relied upon to bring the whiskey-tango-foxtrot.

Hey now
Where you going with that load of nothing in your hand
I said, hey now
All through this green and pleasant land.

I'm going down to Liverpool to do nothing

Don't give a flying fuck?  Well then this won't help with all of your holiday gift-giving needs.

Don't tell Lex Luthor, but I think they've found Superman's fortress of (really hot) solitude.

Old skool reprobates stuff

Funny Japanese iPhone related product. Not sure what it is, not sure I care but the website asks "What's i-fukkin?" Dunno, what's u-fukkin?

Boycott Scotland

If you object to the release of the Lockerbie bomber by the Scottish, why not consider boycotting Scotland?

Internet DNA

Find out how the world sees YOU. Or at least everyone with your name.

Give 'em the finger

Shake hands with your future.

I, for one, welcome our high-speed robot overlords.

Talking out of your ass: bad.

Winking out of your ass: WTF, mate.

(I guess the models with the nice asses looked at this and thought: Are you f'ing kidding me?)

Jackass at work stealing your lunch from the fridge again?

You must not be using the right kind of sangwidge bag.

Instant drive-by shooting, just add stupid.

Do you have an officially certified birth certificate? No? Do you want one? One that gives you the panache and high-class status of being born in Africa? Well, now you can have one for the low, low price of free! Yes, you read that right. Free!

Just follow your mouse and you, too, can have a Kenyan birth certificate as authentic as Barack Obama's!!

No obligation. No sales rep will call. Operators are standing by. Click now!

No doubt you've seen that viral video of what's supposed to be the best wedding intro ever?

Wonder how it ends? Wonder no more.

Some people are taking the idea of a nice relaxing drink very seriously indeed.

Smoking kills (your wallet)

"Yeah, can I get some cash back if I charge these smokes? Ok, cool. How much you got in the drawer?"

So if it neither prevents nor cures swine flu, but may actually help to spread it, how is it distinguishable from, say, ordinary tap water?

I'm not sure if this is the coolest thing I've ever seen or the scariest. Calling skynet. Skynet are you there?

Oh wait - it's on Fox"News". So it's clearly fair(read: distorted) and balanced (read: bullshit).

Carry on.

Ever wonder if it's your time to go?

Not this guy. Dude, go play the lottery. NOW.

This is one of my new favorite sites.

Ken, you got any handywork to contribute?

Playin' large.

Anyone up for a life-sized version of Operation?

Bacon Hottie

Not sure why all my posts are meat-related these days, but there you go. Anyway - Girl in a Meat Dress

Boom!

Add one part youtube, one part mythbusters and 2 parts juvenile schadenfreude and you too can have action beverages (no, not those stupid energy drinks) at your next party.

MECHA WARS!

I, for one, salute our new, rusty overlords.

Other award shows should emulate.

Every OS sucks.

Yes, even yours, mine, that other one.

Business cards made of MEAT. That is all.

Bacon

Baconbaconbaconbaaaaccoooonnnn. Bacon. Just add bacon.

Because many of the things I'm about to say regarding Reprobates have already been beaten into the ground, I will try to keep this letter short. For starters, I recently overheard a couple of unbalanced snobs say that homophobic bloodsuckers have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this Reprobates-induced era of slogans and propaganda. The only way that we can fight Reprobates, the only way we can beat it, is to begin the debate about its grievances. To a lesser degree and on a smaller scale, I fully intend to reveal the constant tension between centripetal and centrifugal forces of dialogized heteroglossia resulting from its fibs. That's the path that I have chosen. It's doubtlessly not an easy path but then again, I call upon Reprobates to stop its oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon it to be an organization of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon it to forgo its desire to sweep its peccadillos under the rug.

In a Reprobates-led society, people who keep our priorities in check will be suppressed, vilified, hated, imprisoned, exiled, and killed. Why is that relevant to this letter? Because all Reprobates really wants is to hang onto the perks it's getting from the system. That's all it really cares about. Many of Reprobates's morals have been criticized for being slanted in favor of a particular stance. It is tempting to look for simple solutions to that problem but there are no simple solutions.

I have one itsy-bitsy problem with Reprobates's philosophies. Videlicet, they stand in the way of progress. And that's saying nothing about how you might say, "Social stability and family unity are two things that mad sad sacks have no concern for." Fine, I agree. But if you were to try to tell its acolytes that anyone who questions its warped view of the world is a threat to its tottering sense of reality, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that Reprobates has remarked that it should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand I'll spell it out for you. For starters, if you look back over some of my older letters, you'll see that I predicted that Reprobates would feed us ever-larger doses of its lies and crackpot assumptions. And, as I predicted, it did. But you know, that was not a difficult prediction to make. Anyone who has bothered to learn even a little about Reprobates could have made the same prediction. Reprobates has had it easy all its life. There, my ranting is finished.

Behold, the Complaint-O-Matic!

Ryanair is thinking of charging its passengers to use the toilets while in flight. What could possibly go wrong?

Meet my new shordurpersav: Tucker Max.

Thanks again, Jeff!

Duct tape - now available in nuclear grade!

Bacon is over as an Internet meme, the pirateninjazombies craze is officially "tired" - how are hipsters and /b/-tards alike going to get their yuks on next?

My prediction: sumo wrestlers. Thanks, Jeff!

A møøse ønce bit my sister ...

Something just can't be made funny

Even Yakety Sax failed us.

As a corollary, other renditions aren't terribly amusing either.

$0.002 = ¢ 0.002 "if you look at them on paper-wise"

The braintrust at Verizon talking cash cash money.

Star Trek: The Next Next Generation - Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

HI THERE BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THIS GREEN & WHITE EPOXY PUTTY SHIT

Farewell, George!

GBSF. That is all.

Michelle and Barack do what together now?

Hey, I don't care what you do in private but it seems odd to broadcast it on the news ... especially on Fox "News" ... in Detroit ... on live TV.

Ben & Jerry create "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama. For George W. they created ...

Dear Neighbour,
you are not invited to my party

Awesome collection of really useful Unix admin scripts - link.

Mike Rowe, star of Discovery's Dirty Jobs, used to hawk all kinds of things on QVC.

Including, it seems, the best-named product EVAR.