I love it when dumb, illiterate people misuse a big word and then try to explain to other people what the word means. Case in point - "43", aka Dubya, who's not exactly the sharpest spoon in the drawer, has been criticized on numerous occasions for his piss-poor vocabulary, inability to form a coherent sentence, total lack of intellect and so on, and has taken the criticism to heart. So, in an effort to speak at a level greater than fourth grade, he has presumably goaded his speechwriters into inserting a few Grown Up Words in his speeches. Hilarity, predictably, ensues.

From the BBC News website comes this gem:

Mr Bush said its accusations therefore stemmed from 
"people who hate America, people that have been trained 
in some instances to disassemble, that means not tell the truth".

Err ... no.

dissemble verb [intransitive]
conceal one's true motives, feelings, or beliefs : an honest, sincere person with no need to dissemble

disassemble verb [transitive] (often be disassembled)
take (something) to pieces : the piston can be disassembled for transport

Even more infuriating though is the usual elements of thought-control that have been woven into the propaganda that spews forth from the Bush Politburo. Examples:

accusations therefore stemmed from "people who hate America"

Deflect attention from the issue at hand, attack the credibility of Amnesty International (this is Amnesty fucking International we're talking about here, folks), and distract his pea-brained followers with some handwaving. Now, perhaps Amnesty International isn't exactly thrilled about America's current foreign policy, but this is not the same thing. However, this kind of simple-minded conflation plays well in the Midwest and the South, where most everyone is seriously fucking stupid, and, not entirely coincidentally, votes Repuglican.

Here's another beaut, from Satan himself this time (aka Richard B. Cheney):

"I think the fact of the matter is the United States has done 
more to advance the cause of freedom, has liberated more people 
from tyranny over the course of the 20th century and up to the 
present day than any other nation in the history of the world," 
said the vice president.

Now, for ten points, can anyone spot the logical fallacy here? Yes! You got it! America's historical record of advancing the cause of freedom has what to do with the record or intention of the present administration?

Fuck all! That's how much!

Once again, though, what this proves is - although Bush may be dumb (and dumb he is), he's still smarter than the people who voted for him.

Fly-powered airplane kit.

Well, what else is he going to say? "I was cleaning it when it went off accidentally"?

The classification of very small objects

You'll go blind ...

What do you get when you cross the blind hatred of Fred Phelps, the over-the-top rabid right-wing jingoistic rhetoric of Ann Coulter, the prose composition skills of a chimp, the batshit looniness of the TimeCube, a site design based on the ever-popular "laundry list" and a bitter, twisted, narrow-minded squareheaded ex-soldier?

You get this. Here's a hint - take the advice given by the domain name.

Wisdom, it is said, is something we receive just after we really needed it most. I bring this up because it seems the Repugnican dolt who pushed for French fries to be renamed freedom fries in the US Capitol cafeteria has had a change of heart about that whole invading-Iraq-on-a-political-whim thing.

So, French fries were petulantly renamed "freedom fries" when France - still an independent, sovereign nation of free people last time I checked - did not endorse Dubya's hamfisted and ill-advised attempt to take part in the Great Game. Should we now be clamoring to rename North Carolina as North Freedonia? Or maybe NC's twin cities should now become the tripartite of Raleigh-Durham-Baghdad? How about Research Sunni Triangle Park?

Corporate logos that look like cocks.

Darwin awards contestants: the geek division. Or maybe "not geeky enough to know better".

"In the Bay, they pile into their cars and, instead of driving normally, they'll hit the gas, then quickly hit the brake; hit the gas, hit the brake; hit the gas, hit the brake. And when they really want to get into it, they open all the doors on the vehicle, turn the music to its loudest possible volume and …"

Pointless debate results in amicable compromise. Sounds like an Onion headline, don't you think? Well, I guess the good news here is that after 500 years, two divisions of the Christian church that are almost indistinguishable to many people, have finally agreed on a compromise position and that "Catholic beliefs about Mary, revered as the Blessed Virgin, are compatible with Anglican traditions and that division over doctrine could end".

Heady stuff, no? With this kind of healing power, surely a solution to the rifts between Christianity and Islam can be found, oh, within the next 6,000 years or so.

Fictionology, for those who find Scientology a bit too "reality-based".

A face only a mother could love. Or not.

The qi stands alone

I have to admit up front, I don't have a lot of time for "alternative" medicine, especially the sort described in hushed, reverential tones as "traditional Chinese medicine" or, more accurately, as "pre-scientific hokum":

Me: My foot is broken
Practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine: Ah! Then you must cleanse your spleen! Take this ... decroded piece of crap and make tea from it. Drink the tea three times a day for six weeks and your spleen will be cleansed!
Me: But my foot is broken
PTCM: Foot is not broken. Body is not broken. Mind is broken.
Me: I can see bits of bone poking through the skin
PTCM: Your skin you say? Your qi is out of balance, we must recalibrate your blood.
Me: Talking of blood, I seem to be losing quite a bit of it here, I wonder if we couldn't maybe apply a tourniquet?
PTCM: Here! This is powdered gonads of rare, endangered Chinese koala ...
Me: Koalas? There aren't any koalas in China!
PTCM: I told you they were endangered. Now, you must make a paste from this powder with your own urine and ...
Me: I'm getting woozy ... going to ... faint ...
PTCM: See? The koala testicle powder is working already!

So anyway, I saw an interesting article today that seems to demonstrate that acupuncture works. But here's the interesting part - it doesn't matter if you the person sticking the needles in you is trained in the ancient arts of Traditional Chinese Medicine, can find (and discourse upon) the pathways by which qi or chi or, for that matter, cheese travels through the body, and describe the seventy-three healing herbs and sticks and disgusting bits of animals used in TCM ... or not.

From the Gallery of Regrettable User Interfaces, I bring you entry #37: the Flash-based epileptic-fit-and-motion-sickness inducing website of prepress software company Dalim Software. And if you're going to spew, spew into this.