Friday, January 31, 2003

This is NOT repeat NOT from abovetopsecret.com.


In a project known as “Acoustic Kitty” the [CIA's] Directorate of Science and Technology sought to train a surgically altered cat, wired with transmitting and control devices, to become a mobile, eavesdropping platform. In its first test, the cat was run over by a taxi.


According to Victor Marchetti:


they slit the cat open, put batteries in him, wired him up. The tail was used as an antenna.
They made a monstrosity. They tested him and tested him. They found he would walk off
the job when he got hungry, so they put another wire in to override that. Finally, they’re ready.
They took it out to a park bench and said “Listen to those two guys. Don’t listen to anything
else – not the birds, no cat or dog – just those two guys!” ... They put him out of the van,
and a taxi comes and runs him over. There they were, sitting in the van with all those dials,
and the cat was dead!


This heavily redacted memo appears to express the view that cats can be altered and trained to perform certain tasks. At the same time, it notes that “the environment and security factors in using this technique in a real foreign situation force us to conclude that, for our [intelligence] purposes, it would not be practical.”

Now you too can have the enlightening wisdom of George W Bush at you fingertips every day of the year.

Thursday, January 30, 2003

I am fascinated by the idea of going "off-the-grid" and powering things with alternative fuels. I am most interested in "clean" and renewable fuels for automobiles. I'd love to buy the CNG (compressed natural gas) version of the Honda Civic, but those losers over at Honda America are only making it available to companies interested in purchasing fleet vehicles. Anyone interested in forming a company?

In the meantime, the Prius will have to do, even though it is really as low-end as it gets in regards to alternative fuel technology. Sure, its the only thing truly available to consumers, but if I was a little more adventurous, I'd buy a diesel VW and power it with homemade biofuels. Yes, I know that sounds mildly disgusting. It reminds me of the scene in Red Dawn when the kids are all urinating into the radiator of the pick-up truck to make up for a coolant leak. But, I am talking about driving down the road and leaving nothing but the sweet scent of french fries in the air.



This just in...the fantasy of many young men has come true!
Got a spare Saab? Sauna!

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

Just in case you ever need to obfuscate a swear-word insult (why, I'm not sure), but somebody called me this the other day, and I'm not sure what it was. Now I do, and I can in turn, insult all of you asshats.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot
Firefighters free handcuffed woman in lingerie shop
abovetopsecret.com is an interesting repository of all kinds of documents, all supposedly "above top secret". Some of them are plain kooky (like this stuff about the Omega Agency or the aliens in Dulce, NM), but others seemingly offer tantalizing glimpses of the technology behind the Government's impishly named "Unacknowledged Programs".

Here, for example, is a news article from a highly respected source: the BBC. And here is an article from ats.c that might be about the same technology.

Monday, January 20, 2003

Thursday, January 16, 2003

This is not an optical illusion - it just looks like one. Didn't work for me, though. I took a good, long, hard look at the picture and never did see the alleged "boat". I did see somewhere to park a bicycle though ...

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

I am a big fan of Get Your War On. You've got to love things like this:

Friday, January 10, 2003

Periodic table of haikus. Incidentally, this link and the previous one came from the message forum of British Squad, who are apparently play something called Trench Wars, which in turn is part of Subspace/Continuum which is a product of the Free Software movement which is ... oh, never mind.
Longtime Reprobates readers are surely aware of our collective fascination with heavy machinery. Even better than heavy machinery, though, is pictures of heavy machinery accidents.
Looking for an adventure holiday that is truly unique. Why not visit all the entrances to Hell in the UK?

Thursday, January 09, 2003

Check out my new personal favo(u)rite site (or shordurperfav, in the original Tibetan): The Stranger.
I have been waiting for at least a year now, but it looks like e-sheep is never going to finish the Apocamon. So, if you too have been patiently waiting the next installment, you might want to entertain yourself by creating your very own holy terror. You can take it even further and live out your own version of the End Times. Just get yourself a PS2, a copy of Unreal Tournament 2003, and the Bible Blood Bath Christian Map Pack. All of this is thanks to those righteous folks over at Landover Baptist Church.

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Evil has a name. It's Guthy-Renker. And a website. And a fabulous line of celebrity-endorsed cosmetic products! And an exclusive line of hi-larious set of Dean Martin celebrity roast videos!

Actually, I've been mulling over the name Guthy-Renker since it first seared itself onto my eyeballs when I was browsing late-night (or is that late-nite?) TV listings. There, in the wee small hours of the morning on Discovery or TLC or one of those channels, was those famous paired names. The first thing that struck me was, and I quote verbatim from memory: whatthefuck? There was no program description, just that mysterious pair of bisyllabic names. The second thing I thought was: G-uh-thy? G-oo-thy? G-uh-dhy? G-oo-dhy? How do you pronounce it? Does it rhyme with "toothy", or with the way a chronic lisp-sufferer would pronounce "fussy"? Does it even maybe rhyme with booth-y (as in "Man, it stinks of stale urine in here - like a public phone booth. Yeah, that's it. Kinda boothy") with a hard "th".

So, as if that weren't enough, I was at the in-laws over the Xmas break, and laughing myself silly (well, I was chuckling on the inside, anyway), poring over the videos stashed under their living room TV. You know the stuff - exactly what you'd expect unhip 60-something Americans to have - a tape from the Mickey Gilley Theater in Branson, Missouri, some random Alan Jackson video (or maybe it was some other hat act - I don't recall), and - gasp - "Bob Hope Entertains Eleven Presidents!" (yes, it was a bukkake video) Anyway, I'm looking at the back of the BHEEP tape and then I see it ... Guthy-Renker!

So - they are polluting the late-night air waves with their cult transmissions, they're putting white, sticky cream on the faces of America's women of a certain age (see, it is bukkake), and they are washing whatever remains of my in-laws brains with their video pap.

Maybe it's time for Bush to put up or shut up regarding his doctrine of pre-emption and strike at GRC before they acquire weapons of mass destruction. Oh, wait, too late.

Monday, January 06, 2003

An interesting interview concerning jiggly physics and its application in todays video games. You'll have to click "Continue to gamespot" to get past the advert.

Friday, January 03, 2003

Congratulations, Shaun & Sarah, and welcome, Aidan. A word of advice: your mother spent several hours pushing you out of the thing you're going to spend the rest of your life trying to get back into. Also, you're probably not going to get nipples thrust into your open mouth quite this regularly again, so make the most of it. Finally, for the next year or two, your public manipulation of yer meat-n-two-veg will be looked upon as "cute" and "funny". Don't be misled, kid. Soon enough, society will turn on you and the words "indecent exposure" will take on a certain significance ...

Shaun: I looked at the pictures - cute kid. Only question - who's the ugly-looking motherfucker with the beard and the ponytail who's hanging round your kid? I wouldn't let him near my kids ...

Finally, the ObLink: Black People Love Us! And it's easy to see why.
Guys, I had a little fiddle around with the template for the blog and added some buttons. What d'ya reckon? Let me know

Thursday, January 02, 2003

All, please say Hi to a brand new reprobate - Aidan Phillip Lowry, who joined us at 5:35am on the 28th of December. Oh, and Happy New Year!