I wanna talk to you about the Cannonball Run - no, not that Cannonball Run, this one, the one the movie was based on. See, it's a real thing - or at least, it was a real thing, but now there's also the Gumball 3000, and that's also hella fake, so what's real any more? Where's the real Two-Lane Blacktop-style outlaw driver action?

I'll tell you where it is - right here, buddy. And here, but most especially here, and here.